The Shocks

No, I have not lost my mind from the darkness and am receiving electroshock therapy from Yukon Health and Social Services.

I am suffering from a far more sinister medical condition.

This condition can strike at any time, day or night, and is not precipitated by me doing anything, other than the possible occasional dragging of my feet.

This condition is highly contageous and can be passed to others through touch.

The condition of which I speak is called the shocks.

Symptoms involve large bolts of electric current running through your body that occurs from touching ANYTHING up here.

Culprits of the shocks have included:
My Bed
My computer.
The filing cabinet.
My winter coat.
Any type of handshake.
Water.
Any light switch.
And the worst offender is the fridge handle.

I've developed coping mechanisms for dealing with the shocks. I put my hands freakishly high in my sleeves. I touch touch touch anything in hopes of grounding myself. I have started to skip across the floor (and trust me that isn't pretty).

Side effects of the shocks can include freakish avoidance and attempts to open things with my elbows.

Although certain shocks have a bright blue beautiful flash to them most are just annoying and should be avoided at all costs.

I am thinking of investing in a full body rubber suit before I am forced to concede that the shocks have won.