Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Parka Day

The day I have been anticipating since I arrived in the frigid north is HERE!

That is right friends and family.... From now on December 31 will now be referred to as Parka Day. I get the feeling that there is some other thing that is supposed to be celebrated today but it pales in comparison to the elation I feel now that senor parka is here. Despite the fact that my chicken burger smells like horse and I can't have a shower in my bathroom I am happy because my parka is here.

For all of you who don't know I have been trying to find a warmer coat since I arrived. I get laughed at wherever I go for wearing a Columbia Jacket. Despite my protests that it has an inner fleece layer and it is surprisingly warm the Sourdoughs don't believe me.

My first attempt at parka buying was in Sears in Kingston. I dragged Michelle into Sears and for those of you who don't know Sears and department stores in general give Michelle cold chills.

My second attempt at parka ordering came on my second day of work here. There aren't many stores up here for "shopping" (at the moment there is one) so I decided what the hell, Sears delivers to very near my house, I'll order from sears. I order a white parka, which if you know me realize, that it is against my nature to buy anything that so easily shows stains. I wanted the black but they didn't have it in my size. This parka wasn't pretty but it was rated for extreme cold so I sucked it up and ordered the white. Two weeks later the worst happens. I check my inbox and there is a message from sears saying my parka has been cancelled. No white parka for me.

My third attempt was with good ol fall back e-bay. If you can't get it anywhere else you might as well try your luck with e-bay. I found a beautiful, long, down, brown, "The North Face" coat which I fell in love with. I bid like a mofo and I won that coat (for a bit more than I wanted). But it was about $100 less than retail so I was happy.

I have been tracking the coat through Canada post and upon learning it had arrived in Whitehorse yesterday, did not expect it for at least a week. I was pleasantly surprised when there was a package card in my box and the mail goddess brought me the parka.

I may have shed tears of joy. I may have done a happy dance too. But now I am a warm lumpy brown blob and have never been happier.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Gorillas in the Mist?

Its one of those days. When you think Canadian weather can no longer surprise you it sure does.

Its a sun free day in Dawson City. There is an eerie glow. And a weather phenomenon I would like to call "Freezing Fog". There is another F word that would aptly fit in front of those two but I'm keeping this PG. I had no clue what it was til the sun "came up". I thought it was so cold I have having this haze hallucination. Under -40 can do that to a Southerner. Its really cool to see the outline of the trees on the mountains through the fog.

This funky fog is not a degree of awesome that would make me stay outside any longer than absolutely necessary.

I also learned an important lesson today. Touching any metal with skin at under -40 weather is painful. So keys will now be used with huge mittens. Lesson learned.

Friday, December 26, 2008

An Experiment

So, I've decided to do an experiment, which in its early stages has started to make me question my sanity.

I am going to put a disclaimer in here that if you are cute, single, and possibly interested in me turn away now and pretend I didn't post this entry. Otherwise read on at your own risk.

The last time I shaved my legs was when I was in Ontario. December 4th, to be exact, in my hotel room near Pearson. Meaning that I haven't shaved in the Yukon.

I see no purpose. On most days I wear an average of 2 pairs of pants. Razors cost about 5 times what they cost in Ontario. Guys up here don't shave their faces. And I am the only one seeing my pasty white legs.

If you are grossed out I gave you advanced warning and you are choosing this.

But there is a problem with my experiment. I want to crack. My socks scratching on the hair is driving me insane. And with the dryness up here my legs itch quite a bit. I'm going to hold out to the one month point. And see how I'm doing.

p.s. the extra leg hair is keeping me warm. And the fact that it is going to -44 this week means I need all insulation possible.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Tyra Banks was Right.

Many of you know my feelings on Tyra Banks. If you watch "The Soup" your feelings on her are probably similar to mine. I think she's insane, somewhat hypocritical, and downright strange.

Many of you may be thinking "what does Tyra have to do with the Yukon"? Good question team. My answer is simple... smiling with your eyes.

I'll let you think on that one for a second.

I was walking home today from getting groceries. Wearing my columbia jacket (which is Yukonnily inadequate), my big fat abercrombie hoodie, my long sleeve campus crew shirt, my McMaster pj sweatshirt with the hideous bleach stain. On the top. On the bottom I was wearing my spectacular brand new long underwear which has the perfect amount of spandex, my old navy old school yoga pants before yoga pants were cool (circa lululemon's inception), my umbro pants which are a tasteful maroon, and my big old sweats on top. I had a scarf over my nose and my toque on.

The point is.....

If I were to smile at a casual passerby on the street this simple gesture would be lost on them. And it came to me. Smiling with my eyes. Damn you Tyra. It works. I need to practice my eye smiling.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Morning Moon

So, I'm at work and its 9:30 in the morning. I looked out the window and the moon is shining brightly up in the sky. How crazy is that?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

300 steps

It takes me approximately 300 steps to get to work. Taking into account I have stubby legs and have a tendancy to saunter I will redo this count to try and get a more accurate number.

Step 1 is the worst step. When the cold hits your face and you know there is no turning back to go to bed.

Step 45-70 is a minefield of dog urine and feces. Luckily these are frozen mines and don't stick to the boot. Thanks Joe.

At about step 75 I get onto the road and its smooth sailing from that point forward.

I walk past the medical centre on my left in about the 200 range . And shortly after that the museum is on my right.

While this path does not provide a great amount of exercise I live in the North, and quite frankly getting to work without getting frostbite or hypothermia are much greater concerns.

It is a gorgeous walk and short enough that my legs don't go numb.

Once I get internet at home I will be updating more often. Stay tuned for posts on my trip to the "drug" store, the thrift store, Up North Cable, and the importance of receiving mail.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

New Yukon Dictionary

Here are a few terms in common use up in the Yukon:

Mild: the -20 range (although here they don't really use the minus its just assumed)
Cold: -50
Warm: mud season

Snow Machine: aka snowmobile

General store: the place that sells fruit that was rejected from B.C., sells Hot Chocolate in massive Costco inspired quantities, and sells a noname brand known as Co-op which is apparently from Saskatchewan.

Snarfing: not quite stealing, but doesn't have the same return date imposed on it as borrowing does.

Keys: They are left in cars that are running but I don't have any for my house (because it is never locked)

Fast Food: Making sure the food is consumed before it gets cold. As if there are any chains up here.

Small Dog: I don't remember everyone here has massive dogs bigger than my mom.

Snow: a good thing when it falls because it means its warm enough for it to snow.

Sun: that thing that tries to get above the mountains at about 11am and goes away at about 3:30 pm

Cell Phones: a recent luxury appearing in Dawson City in 2007.

and last but not least

The Post Office: The Centre of the Universe.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Vancouver Airport Update

I just came down from the best landing ever. Usually landings are a combination of nausea and prayer. In hopes that the latter would prevent the former from happening.

Last night I got a quality 2 hours of sleep. But it was worth it to see my girls and go out in Toronto.

I am charting new "territory" today. Yes I did just laugh out loud to myself. 2 hours of sleep.

On the plane I watched a movie about a guy who sees dead people. Two fridgid sour toes down.

I also watched Pushing Daisies, The Office, Bones and hopefully I will see Mama Mia on the next flight.

More later when I actually get to the Yukon. To all of you in Ontario I'm kissing bye bye to the PST. And it has never felt better.

I have no clue if this will even make sense.