Thursday, February 26, 2009

Movin on up

Hi,
Guess what? I'm moving out of the Ghetto House! For those of you who aren't able to see my facebook pictures I thought I'd post some of the highlights of the house on here.

This is the side entrance that doesn't have the icy stairs of death. It is also nowhere near my room. I rarely use this far safer option. Maybe I subconsciously do it because I want to fall down and break my arm and sue the pants off my slumlords. As of this week there is a nice dog urine stain on the bottom icy step of death.

This is the tub surround from my shower that doesn't work. Well I suppose it works if you enjoy having cold water squirt out at you while only scalding hot water comes out of the showerhead. Personally not my ideal shower. Its alright though. The tub will fall through the floor soon because the caulking hasn't been doing its job for a while. I'm sure there are mold issues. Thank goodness I don't own this house.

This is the kitchen. My fridge leaks. There is quite the little puddle in the bottom of it and on the floor outside of it. The microwave is a dial that only has 20 second and 1 minute increments. God forbid I want something cooked for 30 seconds. And you can't see it in this picture but this carpet is hideous. Its something people in Ontario would reject for their cottages. And shacks. But good news for future occupants of the house. The landlords are ripping it up and putting in wood floors. (By wood it may end up being the subfloor but they claim hard wood will be put in, the plan is to do this before they fix the plumbing in my bathroom, smart slumlords, real smart).



See the Tv in the TV room. Its not there anymore. Neither are the lamps or the fans. They have all been snarfed (look at my Yukon Dictionary) by other people who have lived in the house while I have lived here. I don't even know if the curtains are still there. The couches are hideous and are covered by even more hideous comforters.


And I left the best for last. My room. In this picture you cannot see the sexy times shag carpet. It is a cream colour. Not white, maybe it was back in 1972 when it was put in. There is dog hair. In my one attempt to vaccuum the room more dog hair spit back out of the vaccuum. That is when I stopped vaccuuming.
You also can't see it in this picture but my bed schlumps toward the right (if you were in it) it has a dent, or divot for those of you golfers out there.
The Wood panel walls scream attractiveness. The print of the Waterfall over the bed has not caused me to wet the bed but that doesn't mean there isn't still urine on the mattress. There is also a sketchy stain that looks like blood. I don't generally like sleeping on a bed where somebody could have bled to death. Or spilled fruit punch. I'm one of the lucky people in the house who have a baseboard heater that works. One of my roommates had her books freeze to the walls of her room. (I'm not even making this up). Two of the drawers in my dresser don't actually have bottoms. Thus rendering them useless. My windows were frosted over for the better part of 2 months. I can finally see out of them now. The closet is the best part of my room. If only someone hadn't nailed "the ulgurtain" in front of it. uglurtain is an assimilation of the words ugly and curtain. And yet it cannot describe the sheer eye pain it causes. Maybe I could sue for eye damage.


I could go on but I need to leave things for future blog posts. I'm planning on bleaching everything I own that is safe to bleach. Maybe that will help me feel clean again.

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